


You and me

by quenoves



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Becho Breakup, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, F/M, Love Confessions, Suicide mention, season 6
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-05-29 17:24:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19404793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quenoves/pseuds/quenoves
Summary: Bellamy drags Josephine through the forest and remembers the moment it all began.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Read the end for a tiny foot note!

“Brain deterioration is a funny thing, you know?”

Dragging Josephine through the dirt in the dark became easier after a few hours. At one point she mocked that she would _“humor him”_ and stood up to start walking a steady pace in front of him— stopping abruptly every twenty minutes clearly trying to test his patience. 

“Of course you would find it funny” Bellamy grunts back rolling his eyes. She eggs him on. “You know what’s even funnier, though? You thinking you can keep this brain from rotting. You’re wasting time here. Don’t you think Clarke would be upset you aren’t back there watching her little goblin? Shes a _night blood_ too, right?” Josephine mocks the term despite thinking it sounds pretty badass. 

Bellamy stays silent. He knows there’s no point in engaging with her, she’s just toying with him. Clarke would forgive him. She always does. Madi will be fine. The others will take care of her.

“Head and the heart? That’s cute. Cheesy. Maybe a little too intimate. Your girlfriend okay with that?” Josephine stops to let Bellamy catch up to her and then she moves up close to his ear. Whispering, she taunts him, “You should have seen the look on her face when she saw you two together. Pining over a man for six years just for him to come back with the bitch who tried to kill her, twice. Miss Wanheda, what an unlucky girl...”

A deep knot forms in Bellamy’s but he ignores it. _Twice?_ There’s no time for this, he thinks. He puts on a face and scoffs, tugging on the chain lightly to push her away. “Keep moving” he mumbles out to Josephine and she only shakes her head and skips forward. She keeps this carefree playfulness in her walk. He can see through her act but is still disgusted regardless by her entitlement to Clarke’s body. He needs to focus if he wants to save her.

They stay silent for about thirty minutes and then she stops again, stricken with a new idea. “You know my daddy kind of did her a favor.” She turns back around smiling devilishly and inches close to him again. Bellamy looks at her in the eyes with venom and tightens his grip on the chain, searching for an outlet so he won’t shove this bitch to the ground and beat her. “She’s tried to kill herself what like... two times? No! Wait, three. Yeah. Under the red sun, handing me the key in her mind space (after I showed her my memory of you giving up on her) and after you left her on a burning planet. What a sad, depressing fuck this girl is—”

“Shut the fuck up!” Bellamy pulls the chain towards him and covers her mouth with his hand, immediately feeling guilty remembering whose body this is and eases his grip a little before he told her, “That’s enough. Don’t you dare say one more thing about her. You don’t know what she’s been though.” He let’s go and shoves her forward to keep walking and she laughs. “Well that’s the point, Bellamy I do know... everything about her actually. She wants to die. She only changed her mind and fought to live because of guilt. Morse code? She’s good. I know she’ll come around again soon enough.” 

Before Bellamy can respond Josephine’s face goes blank and she shakes violently. She closes her eyes and makes an effort to cover her ears with her shoulder. She’s mumbling something that he can’t quite make out. “NOT THIS WAY!” Josephine yells out before pressing her eyes tigher shut. Bellamy doesn’t have time for this. “Walk”, he tells her and she shakes her head. “You’re going to regret this.” She keeps her eyes closed and walks slowly ahead, seemingly in pain. 

Suddenly— a voice comes from his left. “What a great brother you are.” Bellamy sees Octavia, well _**Bloodreina**_ standing in the mist. He immediately understands why Josephine’s eyes are closed. It wouldn’t make sense for this to be real. _This isn’t real_. He repeats to himself. He knows that much. But it feels like it is. “Does it make you feel good, Bell? Leaving me out here to die? You’re not any better than me, you know. How can you come back from this one?” Bellamy eyes well up and he walks away hurriedly. His mind is foggy and disoriented. He wants to run back but feels a force launching him forward anyway. Josephine matches his pace. They’re both running now, Josephine stumbling eyes still closed. He manages to focus for a bit and turns to ask her, breathlessly. “What the hell is this?” 

“It’s what you want. It’s what you don’t want. It’s hard for me to explain right now.” Josephine pains out. She trips on a rock and falls. She vomits after meeting the ground and crouches still, trying to steady herself. Bellamy hears another voice. This is time it’s softer. His heart skips a beat and he looks behind himself, freezing in place. Josephine sighs “ Well let me know when you’re ready to get the fuck out of here.” She slumps defeated to the ground and curls into a ball. 

He saw Clarke on the ground. Weak and mangled. Burns were covering every inch of her body. The air overwhelmingly smelt of ash and blood. He let go of Josephine’s chain and knelt down in front of Clarke. He tried to touch her face only for his fingers to run right through her. Bellamy grabbed his head, holding back his sobs and trying to mutter something out to no avail. “Why didn’t you wait for me?” Clarke’s lifeless eyes pierced though him. She sounded defeated, broken, dead. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I— I didn’t know.” Bellamy was crying out loud now. Emotions long buried rushing out of him. He hears a scuffle behind him and turns to see Josephine standing up. He runs and grabs the chain again to her annoyance and then turns back around to Clarke. Except she’s not there anymore. All he sees is a aged skeleton. Bellamy lets out a tortured animalistic scream. He falls back to the ground, heaving and rolling around while trying to keep the chain in his grasp. It’s too much for him. 

“Bellamy—“

“SHUT UP” 

“Listen to me.” 

“WHY WON’T **YOU** JUST KILL YOURSELF JOSEPHINE?” 

“I’m not Josephine.”

He looks over to Josephine but the voice isn’t coming from her. “Pathetic.” He hears her mumble to herself. He looks around for the voice. Standing up ahead he sees Clarke again. This time her hair is long and her face looks younger. She’s holding a hand out to him. 

“Come with me.” 

“What?” Bellamy gasps out. He stands back up and moves closer, tugging on the chain for Josephine to follow. 

“You and me. Screw everyone else. Let’s just... go.”* An echo from the past. A time when he thought he had already lost all of his innocence. If only he had known. Against his own resolve Bellamy follows Clarke deeper into the forest. She glances back to him every now and then. An innocent smile flashes that he hasn’t seen in years. It creates an energy inside himself that reminds him of the person he used to be. Of feelings he used to have. Maybe he still feels that way.

They enter a clearing with green light blanketing over the entire area. He notices two figures standing in front of the large wall of flame in the middle of the clearing and snaps back into reality. Clarke fades away as he walks closer to them, recognizing the girl immediately. “Octavia?” Octavia runs to him and wraps her arms around him. _Is this still a hallucination?_ He wonders. 

Octavia lets go and looks to the right of him. 

“Why the hell is Clarke in a chain?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is so clear to him now. He loves her and he won't let her die. It is that simple.

Octavia catches up to the news quick. Gabriel hesitantly leaves Octavia behind to wait for Diyoza and follows Bellamy and Josephine to the shack where the "extraction" will take place. From the start, Bellamy senses a strong tension between Josephine and Gabriel. Gabriel is about ten paces behind them, walking a little too slowly for Bellamy's liking and Josephine is as far forward as the chain allows her to be. She's quiet, tentative. Like she's running through what she wants to say in her head. This gives Bellamy some time to think things over in his head too.

Gabriel called it the anomaly, it shows your greatest desires and fears. Deep, repressed feelings that he thought were buried enough were thrown out into the open for him to look at and sort back together. How would he explain this to Echo? Every part of it was wrong. It felt like cheating. He isn't that kind of person, though. He will have to have that conversation with later. Now, only Clarke matters. _You only care about Clarke_. Jordan's words come back to him. _Yeah_ , he thought, _I guess I do._

The silence breaks the moment the shack comes into view. Josephine stops and turns around, smiling through Bellamy to Gabriel. "So babe...you really want to do this?" Josephine starts, cocking her head seductively and moving in to caress Gabriel's face. _So they are a thing_ , Bellamy thinks. "You know, this body really is the full package... we can kill this guy and go test it out in that little hut. Runaway into the woods together. Let the past fade and start a new life together." "This is so fucking sick." Bellamy spits out shaking his head, unable to look at them he turns away in an attempt to give them privacy. _It is not like Clarke is dying, or anything._ "Josephine, its time" Gabriel mumbles out sadly. He looks down and blinks out a tear. "It'll be my time soon, too. I just need to tie up some loose ends here. Specifically, murdering all the primes." He finishes with blank emotion and walks past her towards the door. Josephine rolls her eyes and turns around to him impatiently. "We could have had it all, you jackass! you were always too weak. Too bad that body didn't give you the sense that you depressingly lack." She scoffs and motions to Bellamy, "I mean, get a load of this guy! Bleeding for this girl is fifty percent of his whole damn personality! Why can't you have that kind of devotion to me, huh? I know you still love me." Her demeanor darkens suddenly. To Bellamy’s surprise, she starts whimpering, a hopeless expression taking over her careless vibrato. _So she's afraid of dying? Oh, give me a break_. Bellamy mocks her to himself before looking over to Gabriel and shooting him the _you better hurry the fuck up look_. Josephine whispers to Gabriel so Bellamy can only barely hear, "Please...tell me you still love me." Gabriel freezes. His hand twitches, fighting the urge to hold her. Bellamy is reaching for his knife he has hidden in his boots, preparing for his betrayal, but then—

"BELLAMY"

Josephine's head snaps around to Bellamy and wears a desperate, familiar, look in her eyes. Eyebrows furrowing, she screams again—

"Bellamy, listen to me," Bellamy gets it this time. _It's Clarke._

"Cl—Clar—"

"Bellamy, if you can't get me out you have to kill her. Promise me."

Bellamy's heart is pounding and he finds it hard to be present. _Again with the promises. I'm tired of losing you._

"Okay. Then save me." He must have thought out loud. Clarke's head snaps down, practically dead, and snaps back up again looking back at Gabriel, who seems to have made a decision now. "Their consciousnesses are starting to work simultaneously. We have to do this now." Gabriel grabs Josephine's arm, opens the door and shoves her inside. Bellamy runs following in and shuts the door behind them. He grabs Josephine and wraps a hand around her mouth and holds her body against his while she's screaming and kicking. There's dusty boxes everywhere and barely any light. Bellamy finds an old wax candle and lights it up with a nearby match as fast as he can so he can cover Josephine's mouth again fast. Gabriel seems to know where everything is. He has not spent much time rummaging around before he lays out a scalpel and towels on a counter and wipes everything off the table in the middle of the room. Bellamy lays Josephine on the table face down and holds her arms down while Gabriel takes out a syringe and jams her neck. Bellamy looks up to Gabriel in worry and moves away from him a little to give him space. "Hold her. this is going to hurt." Bellamy reaches over and grabs Josephine's hand with both of his and really hopes Clarkes the one who is awake right now. Gabriel hovers over the scar on the back of Clarke's neck and pauses. "I do love you. I'll see you soon Josie." He cuts through and black blood gushes out. Bellamy frees one hand and uses a towel to dab around the area while Gabriel pulls out the chip. After the chip is out Gabriel places it on the table and moves back to closing the neck with rushed, unprofessional stitches. Instinctively, Bellamy pounds the chip with his fist and it shatters. Gabriel just nods and withholds any emotion so as to not distract from the task at hand. At last, he finishes.

"Now, we take her back to the anomaly. She has brain damage. We have to move fast or she can die in minutes." Gabriel is shoved out the way as Bellamy picks up Clarke's lifeless body and carries her out the door in a sprint. A million thoughts run through his mind. A million scenarios. He has to save her in all of them because if he doesn't, he will never forgive himself. It's not because he wants to make up for anything, or rewrite the past, or because he's Bellamy and that's just what he does, or because of the fact that she's _Family_. Bellamy has to because he loves her. He loves Clarke and he wants it all with her. He wants what Gabriel and Josephine could not have. He will fight for that chance. He will die for that chance. It doesn't matter that Clarke might not love him in the same way. It is so clear to him now. He loves her and he won't let her die. It is that simple.

There is no turning back now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for your kind words on chapter 1! Hopefully, this one doesn't disappoint. Let me know what you think! As always @starfuegos is my twitter come be my friend or something.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy and Clarke have a delayed conversation.

Before Bellamy engulfs himself and Clarke into the Anomalys fire, he stops, noticing Octavia crouching down by an unconscious Diyoza. “Is she okay?” Octavia looks up, relieved they made it back. “She’s fine. Go save her” Octavia yells backs and Bellamy nods and turns back into the monster in front of him. He feels an energy other than his own burning desire to keep Clarke alive pulling him forward and he is lost in the green fire. Somewhere, in the distance, his _family_ is on their way, with about 30 Sanctum guards on their tail. 

* * *

Jumbled voices all around him confuse Bellamy’s movements and eventually he just gives up and sits down with Clarke laying down on his lap, focusing on her face instead. He looks down at her, feeling her pulse with his fingers making sure this wasn’t all for nothing, and sighs when he feels her heart beating. She’s alive. For now. His eyes hover over to her neck where he catches a small faded bruise under her ear. “Fuck.” Bellamy shakes his head and closes his eyes for a second to recollect himself. “I didn’t apologize for that. I know you think I don’t have to. But I’m sorry. There’s so many things... fuck.” He holds her head over his left hand and lifts it up closer to him, as if to make sure she hears him clearly. “I do need you. I hope that’s obvious by now.” He chuckles a little. “I guess we’re both a little pathetic.” Suddenly, Bellamy’s head hangs down and he unwillingly starts to fall sleep. He holds onto Clarke tighter, not knowing what else to do, and everything goes black.

* * *

”What’s going on here?” Echo arrives followed by Madi (who is being carefully restrained by Gaia and Indra) Murphy (dragged in by Emori) Miller, Jackson, and Raven, who looks the most confused out of everyone. “Bellamy went in with Clarke. To save her brain.” Octavia explains. Diyoza is awake but weak. Gabriel is off to the side observing the scene. “I never even noticed she was gone...” Raven is still shaken about everything Emori told her, along with everything that went down on the ship before she came back down. She wonders what Kane decided. More like she wonders if Kane is still alive.

_“Leave us here. You all go. We need to talk.” Kane looks at Abby with hatred. It’s undeniable. Abby can’t even bare to look at him in the eyes. Kane had woken up Indra, hoping to send Raven out in good hands in case she ran into Simone. She admits she does feel safer but feels guilty that Indra had to wake up to this mess. “It’s not unlike you people to start trouble.” Kane had told Raven out of earshot of Abby that he couldn’t live like this. She can’t blame him. They parted ways with a “May we we meet again.” Hopefully they don’t._

“I’m going in with them.” Echo interrupts Ravens thoughts. “You’re what?” Octavia looks up in annoyance, forgetting for a second that this women was in love with her brother. “He might need my help.” Echo responds and that’s when Gabriel jumps in. “Hold on. Two is enough. I can’t imagine three beings in there would be a good idea.” Echo ponders before they overhear a crowd running their way in the distance. “They’ve caught up!” Emori exclaims picking up Murphy again ready to make a move. “We need to hold them off!” Madi suggests, well orders. “Emori! Take Diyoza and Murphy away. They aren’t strong enough. We will stand behind and fight.” Echo looks towards flames hesitantly before she decides her next move. “Okay. You all win.” Echo pulls out her arrows and runs back, with Octavia already leading the way. Madi is released like she’s being thrown into a cockfight, and then it’s time for war, again.

* * *

Bellamy wakes up slowly, feeling heat radiating all around him. He’s laying down flat on the floor surrounded by blood. When he’s eyes open fully the pit of his stomach turns sour. _Not this again_. He sits up and Clarke is standing in front of him, frozen. “Bellamy...” She comes down while he is sitting up and they hug. For a minute they forget there is a ticking time bomb in in the back of their minds. For a minute it’s just them. Bellamy lets go first, cupping her face In his hands gently, like she’ll break if he moves too tough or too fast. “Please stop dying.” He croaks out half smiling. “Yeah I think I’ve finally had enough of that too.” She replies, knowing he’ll understand the weight of that statement through her humor.

Bellamy breathes more steady now and he looks up around. “So... the fighting pits?” Clarke’s expression becomes pained and she looks down to the side. She knows she has to get straight to the point though. “Do you think I’m a monster?” She looks back up at him straight in eyes. She prepares for any answer. Bellamy’s eyes goes wide and he lets go of her face to reach for her hands. He strokes her fingers slowly and inches his face closer to hers. “Clarke,” He gulps. _Is right now really the time?_ He ponders it. They never seem to have the right timing anyway. “If you were a monster, I wouldn’t... love you the way I do.” Clarke stops breathing for a second. _Am I dead?_ “My nightmares are about losing you. That’s the way it’s been since the day I closed the door to the drop ship. I thought it was normal before. To love a friend that much. I’m such an idiot.” They’re both crying now. Clarke can barley think clearly. She wants to stay here with him and read out every essay she’s mentally written about her love for him but there’s no time. There’s never enough time. “I love you too, Bellamy. I always have and I know I always will.” Clarke grabs the sides of his head and kisses his forehead. Bellamy leans into her hold, smiling. It was always so simple. Why did it take this long? Lights start bleeding out the cracks in the bloody walls of the pit. “I think we’re waking up.” Clarke notices. They both stand up, holding hands and looking at each other. “We’ve got this.” Bellamy reassures her. “I know.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hope you guys like this. My new @ on Twitter is @starfuegos come yell at me there too!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy and Clarke find the others and things are very awkward.

When Bellamy and Clarke come out of the Verge they are surprised to find that they are alone. When they remember their circumstances they aren’t, however, surprised to hear screams and grunts coming from about five miles away.

They both start a sprint towards the fighting but Clarke doesn’t even make it five feet before falling to the ground in a loud thud. “ **CLARKE** ” Bellamy yells and drops to the ground beside her lifting her upside to face him. “I think I’m still too weak” she coughs out, furrowing her eyebrows, trying to look for a way to be useful. “Just stay behind. Don’t worry I’ll come back and get you” Bellamy suggests with a smile, not wanting to worry her. He feels better with her here safe, anyway. He has her back and he can’t lose her again. 

Clarke doesn’t like that idea. It hurts her to think; her mind is a pile of mush. She knows her brain is technically healed but something about her mind feels fresh- as in it feels new. The problem is it also feels dusty, worn, and beaten. She concentrates harder, and then the idea hits. “Russell... he doesn’t know that Josephine is dead. Maybe I can go back while all of his guards are distracted and try to destroy the lab- well, the Primes.” She breathes out satisfied because she knows it’s a good plan. This way she can help. 

She looks to Bellamy waiting for an answer. His eyes are shut as if processing what she just said. When they open she is confused to see a sudden grim look on Bellamy’s face. _Quick, damage control._ “Look, I know you’ll take care of Madi but this is the best way to do this without—.” “Stop it.” Bellamy cuts her off huffing and helps her stand her whole body up. He looks at her in the eyes, now looking helpless and then looks back down, clenching his fist. Clarke is left dumbfounded. “Uh, Bell—“ “You don’t get it. We’re not doing this again, remember?” He looks at her like she punched him in the gut and for a second there she feels guilty. Then, she remembers she has a daughter and other people depending on her and that feeling gets pushed off of a cliff. “Bellamy, I understand— no— you know what...” There’s no point, or time, to argue. She knows what he wants to hear. She knows him better than anyone. “Just come with me. Watch my back. But we bring Madi.” It’s not that she doesn’t trust the others to watch her, it’s that she doesn’t trust Madi enough to listen to them. Madi gained a respect for Bellamy through her so she knows he could handle her; the others, not so much. Bellamy grunts in approval before wrapping his right arm around her shoulders and using his other to lift her body up and into his arms. “It’s faster this way. I’ll let you down when we get to Sanctum” Bellamy explains to her when he notices her confusion. While Bellamy runs forward she finds herself analyzing his dramatic choice of action— like she usually would— and then she remembers _oh yeah, he loves me_. Funny how adding that word to the equation pieces everything together so neatly. 

They move further away from the forest towards battle cries but their tread stops short when they notice a change. Chills and adrenaline rush through the both of them when the forest goes silent. It’s pitch black out and the forest feels alive now more than ever. Clarke looks around and breathes more quietly, afraid of what will happen if she makes any sudden movements. She looks up to Bellamy waiting for him to look back and when he does she mostly mouths out “That can’t be good”. He looks back at her stiffly and wide-eyed and nudges his chin down enough to get his point across. He starts walking again more slowly. Clarke keeps her eyes behind them, squinting as hard as she can to make out any movements in trees and bushes. _Oh shit_. Out of the corner of her eye she sees a black figure moving to their right. She taps Bellamy frantically. "Wh—" before Bellamy can respond he feels a hand wrap over his mouth from behind and loosens his left hand from Clarke to reach for his knife. "Bellamy, wait!" Bellamy turns around quickly at the familiar voice and sighs, lowering the weapon back down into his waistband. 

Before they can find anyone, Echo finds them. Clarke can't help but to think that Bellamy would have known it was her from five miles away. Echo looks at him the same way Clarke did every time she found Bellamy again and saw that he was alive. A loving relief. Bellamy, on the other hand seems uncomfortable. Clarke can guess that he might feel guilty, or maybe confused. She would be too. "Echo, what's going on?" "We retreated. We've dealt with about half of them but there's too many and they have better weapons. We are all hiding out in a cave that's fifteen minutes east of here. I stayed behind to find you, though." Echo looks down at Clarke and blinks for a moment. "Is that her?" She asks _Bellamy_ , but Clarke responds. "Yes, it's me." Echo sighs in relief and it looks like she's about to lean to kiss Bellamy but he interrupts, clearing his throat. "Oh— Okay well, we have a plan." He looks over to Clarke for a second and looks back. Clarke knew his eyes were apologetic, but there are more important things to worry about right now than his failing relationship.

Echo says something about how they’ve already made too much noise and signals for Bellamy to follow her. They’ve walked for a bit before she declares he can whisper now and that’s when he begins. Clarke stays silent, unaware of what her position in this dynamic is right now. _If only she knew._ Every now and then they hear footsteps and whispers so they run behind the nearest bush or trunk. They need to move fast, Clarke thinks. They all cant hind in the cave forever. Clarke gets a sudden wave of anxiety at having to see her friends again. Are they friends? Will they care that she's not dead or will the moment pass quickly and they'll return to hating her? She decides she'll remain quiet. Bellamy can explain everything and she just needs to worry about Madi. 

"Right there." Echo leads them in and Bellamy stops at the entrance, letting Clarke down to limp for herself. She moves her eyes around weakly to look for Madi, avoiding all eye contact. She finds her restrained to the ground by Indra, who is murmuring in her ear. "Madi!" Clarke gasps and lurches forward. Indra lets go and Madi jumps up running into her mom. They embrace tearfully, whispering to each other reassuringly. The moment is brief, though because Clarke feels naked. She gulps when she sees that all eyes are on her. "Um... hi" Clarke waves awkwardly, completely uncomfortable in her own skin. There's a long pause that makes Clarke curse herself. Had she said the wrong thing? Did they want her to apologize for _not_ dying? Clarke hears a rustle and looks over to see Raven standing up from a flat rock. Raven walks over to her and stares at her for a moment before grabbing her in for a hug. The hug is tight and full of emotion but she lets go just as fast and walks to the back of the cave facing away from everyone. Emori comes next, smiling and grabbing Clarke's hand tenderly. "I'm so glad you're not dead. Again." Clarkes laughs, completely speechless. "I would come to give you a hug too but it hurts to breathe right now" Murphy smirks from below and coughs more blood into the puddle hes filling in the ground."Oh, no-no it's fine—" “It’s not though. I’m sorry. We have a lot to talk about.” Clarke is practically sobbing now. She forgave him the moment she saw him, for some reason. _Thats just who I am_. Clarke admits to herself. She’s really loving being alive.

She looks to Indra, Gaia, Diyoza, Gabriel and Octavia and nods. Miller and Jackson do the same. "I'm going to go finish this," Clarke says bluntly wiping the tears from her face. " ** _We_** are going" Bellamy corrects her moving up beside her to grab her hand. Echo notices the closeness and thinks about what Gabriel had mentioned to them about the forest during battle.

_“Try to ignore any familiar sounds or faces. They aren’t real. focus on the present and do not get lost in your desires or fears.”_

She doesn't want to think much of it, so she pushes the thought down. "I'll join." Gabriel stands from his lonely corner to move closer to them. "I need to fix my mistakes." Clarke and Bellamy nod to him in response. "Party's getting full" Clarkes ponders out loud and looks back to Madi. "Madi, please stay here and listen to Gaia." Madi's demeanor changes dramatically. Gaia stands quickly and runs to them. "It is Sheidheda" Gaia warns her. Clarke feels a guilt build inside her. While she was busy fighting back for her mind her daughter has been doing the same. "Even more of a reason. Madi please don't let him in. Stay here and let Gaia help you, please." Clarke lowers to Madi’s level and plays with her hair, trying to ignore her own instinct to grab her and run away to a safer place. There is no safer place here, really. "You said you wanted to be a normal kid? This is your chance. Stay here and let me protect you." Madi stays silent for a long moment. She avoids Clarke's eyes and looks up to Bellamy. "If you let her die, you go first." Madi stares menacingly at Bellamy who looks back nervous but still amused. " ** _MADI_** —" "I'll have to take you up on that one," Bellamy cuts Clarke off and responds cockily to the teenager. He doesn't fear Madi, she's a child. Clarke just shakes her head and stands up, eyes glued to Madi who is looking at the ground like a child from long ago who had just had their phone taken away. "You ready?" Bellamy asks her. Clarke just grunts and walks out of the cave without responding, knowing that if she doesn't leave now she never will. Gabriel and Bellamy follow her. _Fuck traditions. I'm going to rip that thing out of her head and smash it._

Bellamy catches up to her and taps her shoulder lightly. Clarke stops and looks at him. "Madi will be okay" is all he says to her. "I hope so." He surprises her when he picks up again and jogs forward. "Until Sanctum, Princess." Her cheeks redden at the nickname. Some things never change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you guys and I love Beliza.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary for next 2 chapters: Clarke, Bellamy, and Gabriel make it to Sanctum and realize getting out alive is harder than they thought.

Clarke breathes heavy standing right outside of the “castle” of Sanctum. She’s alone for the time being, while Bellamy and Gabriel are staking out nearby, unseen, waiting for the opportunity to make their move. The citizens walk by and whisper in hushed tones starting at her. There’s something definitely wrong here apart from Madi hunting down the Primes. A young women with a child comes up to Clarke and stares her down. “Are you really Josephine?” Clarke takes a moment to collect herself and thinks back to her memories of Josephine. “Yes, of course it’s me.” She pitches her voice and the wears a devilish smile that Josephine wore in an attempt to pretend to behave like a normal person. The women shudders and thinks for a moment. “Is... is it true that there was no consent? The blonde women... she didn’t want to...” She trails off as if afraid her questions will anger Josephine. Clarke reacts quickly and reassuringly, “Oh! No no she understands our vision very well. She knew she wanted this.” The women looks down at her feet and nods, walking away hurriedly. Clarke realizes now that clock is ticking quicker because that women definitely didn’t believe her. 

Bellamy and Gabriel hide quietly, watching Clarke intently. When they see her start to walk inside they rise from the wagon they are behind and make their way to the back of the castle. They avoid eye contact with any civilians and walk behind bins, stands, boards; anything that blocks them from view. Once behind the castle Gabriel starts, “you see those windows there? That’s Simone and Russel’s room. Window right under is Josephine.” He gulps, remembering a time when love was something beautiful to him. “Okay. Let’s get up there then. I’ll watch the windows for Clarke’s signal and you watch our back.” Gabriel nods and they climb up the castle, grabbing on to the bitten bricks and vines they could find. When they reach the windows they hang by them, assuming their roles. 

Once inside Clarke assumes her step in the same flamboyant vibrato Josephine held. Nodding at guards and other passer buyers passively. _I wonder if there’s such a thing as too much confidence_. Clarke finally finds and stands outside of Russell and Simone’s room. She pushes down the urge bust the door open and shoot them both with the gun Gabriel gave her and lightly taps the door. She clears her throat, “Daddy, Mom?” She hears some rustling and the door flings open. Simone stands on the other side looking frantic while Simone sits on their bed with his hands around his head. He stands and walks to Josephine (Clarke) to embrace her though. “Oh, sweetheart, I’m glad you’re okay.” Clarke gives in and hugs back, letting go first. When she is free she is looking straight at them both. “Um, so, why am I being hunted?” Clarke speaks accusingly and crosses her arms. “Josephine, they know” Simone starts grimly. “When I came down from their ship your father told me everything. We have to hide you. They will come kill us, or worse, try to get _her_ back, killing you.” Clarke has a lot of questions. _Why was she on the ship_? But she’s Josephine right now, not Clarke. 

“Let them try.” 

Clarke twirls her hair and continues. 

“I think you’re overestimating those animals. Let them come. We kill them first. It would be easier to find the blood that way anyway.”

Russel and Simone look at each other carefully, like they are having a silent conversation. Russell looks back at Clarke and shakes his head. 

“It’s too risky. You need to hide here tonight. I’ll ask some guards to stand outside your room. We’ve sent out to exterminate them. Hopefully by the time we have this handled Clarke would have died too.” 

_Yeah, hopefully_. 

Clarke walks over to the window slowly and stares for a few moments. She looks back, “What about the ship? Are we blowing that up too?” Clarke places her left hand on the window while speaking and taps it twice by the time she’s done talking. Before Simone can start Clarke moves away from the window and runs to the door while Bellamy and Gabriel crash through the window and tackle Russel and Simone down. Clarke locks the door and kneels down by them. Bellamy holds Russell’s face down and lifts his head up by the hair to face Clarke. There’s something animalistic in Bellamy right now. She can see he’s restraining himself from slitting Russell’s throat. Gabriel is on top of Simone, hand to her mouth and the other holding her head, gluing it to the ground.

“ _ **Clarke,**_ get on with it.” Bellamy interrupts her thoughts, speaking lowly and harsh. When he says her name Russell and Simone’s eyes go wide. 

“Oh, don’t act so surprised. I don’t go easy.” 

She gets closer to them and grabs both their heads with her hands and twists them harder to look at her face. Clarke’s eyes go dark and her mouth is sour.

“I want you to look at me when you die, just like I did.” She talks slowly with venom to make sure they hear her very clearly. 

“I want to know the names and locations of all of you vultures. Because we’re going to kill all of you. This is end, accept it.” 

“I’m sorry Clarke but that’s not happening.” Simone answers first, putting on a strong face. 

“We don’t need them really. I think I can figure most of them out.” Gabriel suggests. 

Clarke has adrenaline pumping through her veins. She may be the head but right now she’s mostly heart. She trusts Gabriel. They’ll kill everyone in the building if they have to. It doesn’t matter to her right now. She has people, she has _Madi_ , who need her to work fast. Once the Primes are gone they will have to leave Sanctum that’s for sure. They’ll take whatever supplies they can and just leave. Finish their compound and hope this place doesn’t come back to haunt her. She just wants a second chance. She wants to be alive, not just survive.

Right now she wants revenge for having her life dangled in front of her. 

“Fine. do it.” 

Bellamy doesn’t hesitate and yells while flipping Russell around and choking him. Gabriel just stabs Simone’s neck before she can scream. It happens quick, and quietly. Bellamy releases Russel’s neck once he’s done and the body drops in a thud. He’s heaving and cursing to the ground, like he wants to do more.

“Piece of shit.” Bellamy thinks audibly. “Yeah. Pieces of shit” Gabriel responds standing up.

Clarke makes eye contact with Bellamy and strides closer to him. Bellamy looks up from Russell’s body and softens at her gaze. _Anything for you._ His new personal mantra. Clarke places a hand on Bellamy’s cheek and caresses him with her thumb. She can feel his pain and he knows she wants to ease it. _Anything for you._ Clarke let her hand down and crouches to pull the knife from Bellamy’s pocket. She turns around and rips a hole in the back of the neck of Russels body to pull the chip out and smashes it. When she’s done she does the same with Simone and then they’re off to hunt the rest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first real fic so I’m testing out a lot of styles of writing and I think I like this chapter the best. It’s very subtle experimentation. I mean style as in formatting things. If you notice I’m putting more quotes to stand on a line alone. Anyway I think 2 more chapters sounds good. Hope you enjoy!

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave any feedback you may have! My twitter handle is octaviapologist.
> 
> *this is a reference to the trashed day trip script. Let’s just pretend it happened.


End file.
